Dating your mistress

Finding out that you're the other woman means making the decision to stay or go.You'll need to sit your guy down and discuss what you mean to him, if his other relationship is already over on an emotional or physical level and if the two of you have a future that doesn't include the label "mistress.Whether or not they have children is a moot point; he will always feel as if he has to be a husband to her and take care of the marriage, whether he truly loves her or not. While he is more than willing to be your lover and to bring you gifts, he is not about to have you meet his friends and risk having his family find out about you. No matter how nice a guy he is, you are a temporary diversion for him. Stealing hours from work or home to have sex is exciting, and you may mistake his libido-driven passion for undying love. The game soon becomes a chore for him, and romantic interludes are just one more thing he "has to do." 4. Less than 5 percent of men leave their wives for the woman with whom they are having an affair.Their life together includes friendships and a social network that is shared and comfortable for him. Whether it is because of all the legal and financial problems attached to divorce, religious beliefs or the fact that they have become comfortable with their marriage the way it is -- or even because they still have a certain affection for their wives, men rarely end up with the other woman.He's not a bad guy, he may be a wonderfully kind person, but he is also a practical one.He knows that holding on to emotions that can only cause problems for his family is something he cannot and will not do. To safeguard yourself from too much emotional pain, you need to understand that he can only be a small part of your life and will never be more than that no matter how many promises are made. )" The open letter was posted Saturday on the online classifieds site's "rants & raves" section.

She is not his wife, she is not mother to his children, she is not his parents' daughter-in-law.

Her chance for happiness hinges on a future that is highly uncertain, to say the least.

Your own survival is crucial, and if you do happen to fall in love with a married man, there are several hard truths you need to know. The needs of the many (namely, his family) will always outweigh your needs.

Even Katharine Hepburn knew, and accepted, this fact during her long affair with Spencer Tracy.

And don't ever kid yourself on this important point: He is still having sex with his wife, no matter what you may want to believe. Legally, financially and emotionally, you have no claim.

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